The Blog of Siram

On the one hand, I'm going to miss this place. I enjoyed being able to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted, so long as 40 hours worth of work got done each week. I enjoyed the scenery to, from, and during work, the relaxed pace and lack of stress. I enjoyed everything about living here, as it gave me the time I needed to rest, regather, and redefine who I am. It's been a good eight years.

But on the other hand, it's time to move on. It has been time to move on for almost a year, in fact. What once was solace has slowly become limitations and fetters. What once didn't matter now does. I can't keep pets, I can't grow gardens, I can't do a lot of things involving money that I don't have, and I'm increasingly disgruntled with the way I'm treated at my workplace. It's no longer enough just to survive. I'm rested, and now I want to live.

And so, after I got over the initial shock of being canned due to a lack of grant funds, now that I am no longer bound by honor to finish the work I've started here, what I most feel is freedom.

A scene in a crummy little town in Kentucky, next to a semi wreck that has closed both sides of the interstate and forced everybody to go 15 miles on a dinky little state road...

I walk into the gas station.

The lady behind the counter finishes helping the customer in front of me, then starts sorting change.

I stand there and wait patiently for her to finish.

Eventually she runs out of stuff to fiddle with. Without looking at me, in a carefully guarded tone of voice that says "I'm being as polite as possible under such trying circumstances," she says "yes?"

I get as far as "how do I--" before she interrupts and tells me how to find the detour.

Halfway through, a man walks into the store and says something like "did you mean the red light out that way?" (Obviously he was looking for the same directions.)

The lady behind the counter drops talking to me entirely as she shifts her full attention to the other guy. The directions get clarified. I stand there and listen in. The man nods and leaves.

I say "thanks." The lady completely ignores me.

I follow the man through the door. He tries to close it on me. Then he goes back to his truck without looking back.

I usually don't bother getting offended by stuff like this, because it happens so often that it's 'normal'. But in the spirit of describing what I see that other people don't, I thought I'd share.

Clan [Wolf] was an awesome bunch of Starcraft and Diablo 2 players that I knew back at the beginning of the century. We're having a reunion. I'm collecting snarky comments. Take it away, guys. ;)

And so the knight in shining armor, who spent the last six years never having time to be with the princess that he worked so hard trying to keep, failed. And the shared dream came to an end, even though it was never like that at all.

I don't know what I can say or do to make it better. I'm sorry too. And I still love you anyway.

I wish you could come with me.

Last year's tomatoes were from a neighbor who had too many, all in one tiny pot. He ended up giving me about 30 of them that I planted in three big pots. They survived up until February or so, but only made a few small tomatoes, most of which stayed green.

This year I bought a packet of seeds, rehydrated some peat pellets I had lying around, and sprouted six of them myself. Here they are, after a couple weeks in a cheap plastic incubator (clear dome cover not pictured):

I potted them last weekend. So far they're still strictly indoor plants until they get big enough to survive being dug up by roving area mammals. Then they'll get moved to my big pots from last year. I might try to find some high shelving to put them on, and let the vines grow downward instead of staking them upward. I've heard that works better.

I also have an unused 3-foot sill planter thing. I'm thinking to try putting strawberries in them. But that might have to wait until next year.

To the lovely young (white) couple standing in line ahead of me, who recognized and began a lengthy, enthusiastic conversation with the lovely young (white) couple standing in line behind me:

The polite thing to do would've been to offer to let me move ahead of you in line, instead of talking through me like I don't exist.

Signed,
The totally dismissible Asian person standing directly in the middle of your happy little group

p.s. The whole, shake hands around me thing, that was a bit over the top, even for normal non-acknowledgement of my existence.

-.-

I said profound stuff about my father last year. This year, in the face of sudden major life upheavals (more on that in a future post when I can say something organized), this is all I have to offer:

Edy's uses corn syrup as an ingredient in their ice cream! o.O Never again will I stray from my stand-by of all-natural Breyer's.

(Which is an ironic profundity (or profound irony) in itself, about finding something you like and sticking with it from then on.)

Now, back to my bowl of butter pecan...

A2009129180500_Composited_map.hdf

A2009130184500L2_map.hdf

These images show an estimate of chlorophyll levels off the coast of the southeastern U.S., on a log scale from 0.1 to 10, at a resolution of 1 km per pixel. Yellow is high, blue is low. About half of my job description involves making and sorting satellite images like these. I have several thousand of them, dating as far back as late 1997, showing all sorts of things about the ocean just off the coast (another example: sea-surface temperature (SST)). (And just to be clear, these images aren't coming off of military spy satellites or anything impressive like that, they're not classified, most of the data is freely available off the Internet. Nobody dangerous cares about this kind of scientific data. :) )

Then one day my boss said: "Can you get an estimate of cloud cover?"

And I thought: cloud cover. All I have to do is count up all the pixels representing the clouds, divide by the total number of pixels, and voila - percent cloud cover! Should be simple!

Yeah.

1. Grabbing the pixels to be counted

The first thing I did was to draw a line around the area I wanted to count. In this case, I figured he wanted basically the entire South Atlantic Bight (from Cape Canaveral to Cape Hatteras (aside: the name is a bit misleading, since the area isn't actually in the southern Atlantic Ocean, it just happens to be south of the Mid-Atlantic Bight (Cape Hatteras to Cape Cod). Ahh, Northeastern USian centrism.)) - from the shoreline to the edge of the continental shelf.

Getting the offshore side was easy enough, since I had a dotted yellow contour line for 500m depth already, and I could just follow that. Land, however, was a bit trickier, since I wasn't about to try following the shoreline pixel-by-pixel by hand. And inconveniently, the (usually large) negative number representing clouds is the same as the negative number representing land, which means there's no way to separate the two.

On the other hand, the most recent versions of seadas like to guess wildly at what sea surface temperature might be under the clouds. This is officially called "interpolation" - but what actually happens is a mess of processing artifacts that look like oddly shaped cold spots in strange places. (There's a few in my above SST example, lower right of the image; I picked that particular image at the time for its lack of the artifacts, though.) Most of the time it's annoying, as we like nice, solid black clouds that look like obvious clouds, like in the second chlorophyll image up top. But for land vs. cloud separation purposes, having clouds pretending to be strangely cold patches of the sea worked in my favor.

I picked a reasonably clear SST image, overlapped my line onto land, let seadas fill the whole thing in, and ended up with a blotch of 141,290 coordinate points like so:

(as plotted on a bathymetry image)

Then I fed it to Matlab and told it to strip out all points representing land:


fid = fopen('polishedblotch.dat','w');
for i = 1:length(sst)
   if sst(i) ~= -163.835
      fprintf(fid, '%6.3f  ',blotchtemplate(i, 1));
      fprintf(fid, '%6.3f  ',blotchtemplate(i, 2));
      fprintf(fid, '%6.3f\n',blotchtemplate(i, 3));
   end
end
fclose(fid);

... which gave me:

(blue = before, green = after)

2. Grabbing the actual data

Now that I had a blotch with all the coordinates I wanted to count, it was time to get some actual data. So I wrote some IDL:


fnames=FINDFILE('/75-char-filepath/*hdf')
cnt = N_ELEMENTS(fnames)

for ctr = 0, cnt-1 do begin & $
   load, fnames(ctr), ftype = 'MAPPED', prod_name = ['Mapped - chlor_a', 'Mapped - chla'] & $
   out_track, iband=1, ifile = 'polishedblotch.dat', ofile = STRMID(fnames(ctr), 75, 8) + 'blotch_chl.txt', /no_connect & $
   clear_up & $
endfor

It takes in files with names like A2009130184500L2_map.hdf, and puts out files with names like A2009130blotch_chl.txt. Notice that I'm going for chlorophyll here instead of SST. This is because chlorophyll has real clouds. Also, out of all the possible things I could use, chlorophyll is one of the most basic measures, how it's measured and processed by seadas has changed the least in the past decade, and therefore it's the most consistent and extensive collection I have. (Also note: out_track is a seadas-specific function, not a general IDL function.)

Unfortunately, it turns out that IDL doesn't like looping through anything more than 32,000 times. And my blotch of coordinates contains 125,557 points (that's 125,557 square kilometers in the SAB). I saw suggestions to use "for ctr = 0L" instead of "for ctr = 0", and "fnames[ctr]" instead of "fnames(ctr)", but in the end, I used Matlab to break up the file into four parts:


blotch1 = polishedblotch(1:32000,:);
blotch2 = polishedblotch(32001:64000,:);
blotch3 = polishedblotch(64001:96000,:);
blotch4 = polishedblotch(96001:end,:);

fid2 = fopen('polishedblotch4.dat','w');
for i=1:length(blotch4)
   fprintf(fid2, '%6.3f  ',blotch4(i,1));
   fprintf(fid2, '%6.3f  ',blotch4(i,2));
   fprintf(fid2, '%6.3f\n',blotch4(i,3));
end
fclose(fid2);

and added some more lines to the IDL script:


   out_track, iband=1, ifile = 'polishedblotch2.dat', ofile = STRMID(fnames(ctr), 75, 8) + 'blotch_chl.txt', /no_connect, /append & $
   out_track, iband=1, ifile = 'polishedblotch3.dat', ofile = STRMID(fnames(ctr), 75, 8) + 'blotch_chl.txt', /no_connect, /append & $
   out_track, iband=1, ifile = 'polishedblotch4.dat', ofile = STRMID(fnames(ctr), 75, 8) + 'blotch_chl.txt', /no_connect, /append & $

... which amounted to the same thing.

3. Putting the data into the database

Now I had a bunch of coordinate points, and I had used it to extract some data. It was time to put all this into my PostgreSQL database!

Why would I want to do that, you ask? Why not just open it in Matlab again and do some simple division? Well, that would work great if all I had to do was a few images, this was the only time I'd have to do it, and then I'd never hear about this particular task again. However, if I'll eventually end up having to do several thousand of them spread throughout the decade, the excessive paperwork would eventually kill me.

It had also occurred to me that, as long as I'm extracting all this data to calculate percent cloud cover, why not save it somewhere easily accessible where I can use the data as actual data, too?

So I made a couple new tables. Blotchcoords would hold all the coordinate points, and then blotchdata would refer to it (plus several other tables I already had) and contain the actual data. And I wrote some PHP to get it all in. Most of it was to turn seadas's bizarre output format into something that the database could understand. First, to fill blotchcoords:


$counter = 0;
$success = 0;
while($datablock = fgets($file_handle)){
$counter++;
if (substr($datablock, 7, 5) == '(  1)') {
$lat = substr($datablock, 32, 6);
$lon = substr($datablock, 42, 7);
$value = substr($datablock, -21, 8);
$query = "insert into blotchcoords (coords_id, latitude, longitude, depth) values (nextval('blotchcoords_coords_id_seq'), $lat, $lon, $value)";
if (pg_query($dbconn, $query))  {$success++;}
} #endif
} #endwhile
echo "$counter lines processed, $success lines entered, for $file.\n\n";

It turns out that 125,557 database inserts takes a few hours. While I was waiting, I wrote the additions to put the actual data in; it's basically the same, except that the script first has to find the right reference in the coordinate table before doing the database insert.


$findcoord = "select coords_id from blotchcoords where latitude = $lat and longitude = $lon";
$out1=pg_query($dbconn, $findcoord);
$coords = pg_fetch_object($out1,0);
$query = "insert into blotchdata (blotch_id, value, date_id, prod_id, sat_id, coords_id) values (nextval('blotchdata_blotch_id_seq'), $value, $date->date_id, $prod, $sat, $coords->coords_id)";

It turns out that 125,557 reference lookups in addition to database inserts takes 12 hours. o.O I've since written up a shortcut; instead of looking up the references, now it just assumes that the coordinates are in the same order as the data, and counts up accordingly. Which is generally bad practice - never assume anything, ever - but in my case the coordinates data all went in in one go without stopping, so I'm pretty safe.

4. Calculate percent cloud cover

And finally, I could do the actual calculation! Here it is in SQL:

select ((select count(*)::numeric from blotchdata where value = -1 and date_id = 2314)/(select count(*)::numeric from blotchdata where date_id = 2314))*100 AS percentcloudcover;

(In the case of chlorophyll, clouds are -1.)

It turns out that for May 9, 2009 (top left), cloud cover was 5%, and for May 10, 2009 (top right) it was 35%.

:D

THE END

In the end, I've managed to use bits of every coding language I know at some point during the past week - and was comfy moving back and forth between them. And knew how to do the whole thing without asking for help from anyone (except for a bit at the end there to tweak the SQL). For someone who has no formal training in any of this stuff, and who was completely clueless six years ago, I think I'm doing pretty good. :)

Blind Guardian is a Swedish metal band that gets regularly recommended to me, based on what else I like (Rammstein, Megaherz/Eisbrecher, Nightwish, symphonic metal in general). Most of their songs make no impression on me whatsoever - it's pleasant enough background music in my Pandora seed rotation, but doesn't draw my attention enough to find out what it is or who's playing it.

Except for Mies Del Dolor. It's in Spanish, unlike most of their songs which are in English, and it sounds nothing like most songs in Spanish I'm exposed to. This is more like a ballad.

So far as I know, there isn't a readily available English translation of the lyrics. I have no idea what they're singing. Which is not unlike the current state of my thoughts on romance in general, which might be part of why I like it so much. :)

UPDATE: Figures. There's a version of this in English, under a different name!

I think I still like it better in Spanish though.

I think I'm only capable of unconditional love if I'm not in a romantic relationship.

Individual people are cool. I enjoy following their lives, especially if theirs are vastly different from mine - if they've seen or done things I haven't, or were born into perspectives not like mine and not within the USian dominant cultures. I enjoy finding out what they think, why they think that way, how they got there. I can admire their strengths, find beauty in their weaknesses, and love their diversity of humanity. I like people who are being who they are.

By the same token, one of the biggest things I look for in others is an ability to see and understand and like me for who I am, as I am, for my own sake and not for who I am in relation to them. People who can recognize the subtle signs to stop talking about themselves and start listening, because I have something important to say. Those are the people who end up becoming my closest friends.

But when it comes to seeing someone as a potential lifelong mate, it's not just about them anymore - it becomes much more about how they relate to me. Do I personally like them, what they think, and how they think? Do I find them physically attractive? What do I think of their pursuits in life? Do I find their interests or any aspects of their personalities annoying? Can they continue to be who they are, or would they have to change in ways that would make them less happy but would please me more, and how can I ask them for changes like that? Can I somehow avoid becoming ridiculously jealous over extremely stupid things, and wanting to control how they think, as past experiences have shown I do?

On the whole, I think I'm waiting to find someone who is already exactly who I want them to be.

Note: the immediate cause of these thoughts is not the only source of them.

The new Domino's pasta primavera breadbowl has a description of: "Offers fresh spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms and onions mixed with penne pasta and baked to perfection with creamy Alfredo sauce. $7.99"

On the whole, I prefer Pizza Hut's pizza over Domino's, at least when we're talking about pizza places within walking distance of my home, but thought I'd give the breadbowls a try. I wasn't expecting much with the actual bread, since that would be the same as what they use for their pizza crusts, but figured the pasta might be good. So I ordered one.

Half an hour later, I'm not at all impressed.

It did have mushrooms, spinach and onions in it - but the latter two were barely cooked. That was okay for the spinach, not so much for the onions. There wasn't very much spinach or onions in the thing, maybe about five little pieces of each. There were no tomatoes at all. There was, however, a whole lot of bacon (and, oddly, a piece of green olive). At first I was okay with that, since I'd pondered getting them to add sausage, but decided against spending extra money until I found out how good the rest of it was. However, there was so much of it that (combined with the oversalted cheese sauce) the whole thing was way too salty.

As for the bread. As I said, I wasn't expecting very much. However, I was expecting it to be all the way cooked. This one is distinctly doughy on the inside, and as far as I can tell it never did rise up to surround the pasta with tasty oven-baked goodness like the box says it would. That, added in with the near-raw onions and barely steamed spinach, makes me think they need to work out their cooking method for these things a bit more.

Then there's portion size. It's ridiculously small for the price I paid. For $7.99 at a sitdown Italian restaurant serving real pasta, I'd get two to three times as much food. This breadbowl had maybe five total bites of pasta in it, total.

So, in conclusion: $7.99 (plus tax) down the drain and I'm still hungry, and now must drink lots of water. And I guess I'll stick the empty breadbowl in my toaster oven and see if I can get it all the way cooked.

Dare I try one of their new oven-baked sandwiches? The bread looks like it's something different from their pizza crust bread, at least. Maybe some other time...

Vitalism is the belief that all living things contain a spirit. Animism is the belief that all things, living or otherwise, do.^* A friend recently asked me, which am I? And how do I reconcile that with being an evolutionary biologist?

My answer: Biology is about the physical forms of life, and evolution is about how they got to be the way they are. For that matter, all of the hard sciences are about the physical world. Animism and vitalism are about spirits, which are not physical. What does the one have to do with the other? To me, not a whole lot. Physical form probably influences how a spirit perceives and interacts with the world, but in the end body and soul are separate things.

So what do I think about spirits in general? Well, all living things certainly have them. Not sure about non-living things. There are also spirits that aren't attached to physical forms. Some of them survived their deaths in the physical world; others, I have no idea whether they came from a somewhere or if their there is where they've always been. But the physical plane is not the only one.

I'm not sure whether my friend was satisfied with that answer or not.

^*Apparently it's more longwinded than that, with whole philosophical schools of thought behind those concepts, with which I'm completely unfamiliar, so I'll just go with how it was defined to me, as above by said friend.

Once upon a time in Facebook Land, there was an Ultimate Hitman game - where you go around to different places around the world, assassinating people. A friend wanted me to sign up so that he would have an extra cell member, and therefore be able to take on bigger and better missions. To get in, I had to pick a home country and a name. Since I wasn't planning to play, I searched the list for the most loserlike country I could find - which I eventually decided was Belgium. It's certainly not the first country that comes to mind when one thinks of mercenary assassins. Then came name. Obviously, it should have something to do with Belgium. Well, Belgium's capital is Brussels ... and thusly did I become Spooky Sprouts.

Then, a while later, there came another game, Mafia Wars - which I did plan to play. Well, I had a hitman name already, so obviously that should also be my mafia name. And thus Don Sprouts was born. Unfortunately, Mafia Land is a cruel, cruel world, and poor Sprouts got pounded into a pulp a lot. Something about the name that just says "please beat me" I suppose. So when Vampire Wars came along shortly thereafter, it only made sense to name my vampire Undead Sprouts. Don Sprouts dies, Undead Sprouts rises.

By that point it was a trend. In Pirates of the Caribbean I was Captain Sprouts (with pet parrot Lady Carrots!), and in Dragon Wars I was an elf named Sprout. And when Farm Town caught everyone's eye, there finally was a place where the name made sense. Yay Farmer Sprouts, who "retired" from all those wars and bought a farm. :)

Now I've embarked on a whole new career of making crop circles with my virtual crops. Here's the first one I made:

It's supposed to be a swirl, not a swastika, but an 8x8 grid turns out to be a bit small. Eventually I'll have more land, and will make larger, more complicated patterns. Maybe I'll post them here from time to time. ;)

Food stamps can only be used to buy ingredients and raw food, not cooked food, and therefore can't be used in restaurants.

Some people with food stamps may not be able to cook food - e.g. broken stove, no stove, lack of electricity or gas to stove.

Seafood markets are primarily sellers of raw food. They therefore take food stamps.

Many seafood markets in the U.S. southeast will also prepare and cook food upon request. Officially this is a side service.

Some friends of mine (formerly the owners of a Chinese takeout) own and run a seafood market. It's located in a poor part of town. They will fry, steam, or boil nearly everything they sell (for a small fee).

The end result:

There is no actual difference between their seafood market and their Chinese takeout from an order-taking/food-passing perspective, except that nobody ever writes any of the orders down. T.T

There is a big difference at the cash register. Because food stamps can't be used for cooked food, the cooking fee must be charged separately as cash - which can get really complicated with the whole not writing anything down thing. But only to me, because everyone else there can do it in their heads. TT.TT

When it comes to questions of nature versus nurture on the topic of gender differences, transpeople have a perspective that cispeople do not have. We may not be able to articulate what those differences are in a way that doesn't cause cispeople to immediately jump to conclusions about stereotyping, but for us the topic is not an intellectual exercise or a set of abstract theories about the workings of society and culture. We see the differences firsthand, as a part of everyday life.

My chives haven't changed much since January. Here they are, looking a bit greener as they get ready for another summer. I'm not doing a whole lot - just watering occasionally. I could really use some good summer recipes that call for chives...

Meanwhile, I started a compost bin. It consists of a $5 plastic tub from Kmart, into which I've dumped a bunch of veggie scraps, the remains of last year's basil, and some of last year's tomato soil. Also, some leaves and debris from a 3-foot planter that was occupied by a bunch of tree saplings until just before I thought about taking a picture, whereupon they somehow disappeared. o.O Anyway, we'll see how this new adventure goes. If all that happens is I get into the habit of separating veggie scraps out from the rest of my kitchen garbage, that's already a step up from what I was doing before.

So... Walter L. Wagner, most recently known for filing suit in Hawaii to shut down the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Switzerland (video summary by The Daily Show), who is currently under indictment for Attempted Theft In The First Degree and Identity Theft In The First Degree from World Botanical Gardens, Inc. in Umauma, Hawaii, has led a fascinating, litigation-rich life. His past decade, especially, seems to have been packed solid with at least half a dozen completely separate legal battles in at least four states - from suing of colliders to accumulating restraining orders to alleged embezzlement and fraud. Here's a timeline of his life as we know it, pieced together from public and (mostly) online sources.

1968: graduated from Salinas High School, Salinas, California
(self-reported at classmates.com)

1970: graduated from Hartnell College (a community college with its main campus in South Salinas), California
(self-reported at classmates.com)

1970: began attending UC-Berkeley
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1970s: was involved in the No Nukes movement, and worked for antinuclear activist Helen Caldicott. Eventually he disagreed with her approach and left the movement.
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1972: graduated from UC-Berkeley with a Biology BA
(self-reported at classmates.com, 2008 legal affidavit for the lawsuit against the LHC, a 29 Jul 1982 letter to the editor of the New England Journal of Medicine)

1973: was hired by Dr. P. Buford Price, physics professor at UC-Berkeley, as a scanner. Job description of a particle physics scanner: "A scanner is carefully instructed in what to look for through an optical microscope as he systematically moves the field of view, like a lawn mower. He records all tracks that fit the professor's or graduate student's criteria. When all events that fit the criteria are analyzed (and this may take a year or longer), the scientists write a paper, usually using mathematical techniques that are beyond the capability of the scanner. At the end of the paper the scanner(s) are thanked."
(date is from the 2008 legal affidavit for the lawsuit against the LHC)

July 1975: left the Price lab to start law school at the McGeorge School of Law in Sacramento
(date self-reported from a comment on John the Scientist's blog; name of school from 26 Sep 1977 People Magazine article, Wagner v. Flippo 2005)

1975-1978: Price et al (1975) published a paper about the possible detection of a magnetic monopole, with Wagner as one of five people listed in the acknowledgements for "assistance." A 25 Aug 1975 Time Magazine article highlights Julie Teague as well as Walter Wagner as the technical assistants that first spotted the particle track. Alvarez (1975) disputed Price et al (1975) a month later with a conference presentation, and Price et al (1978) retracted their claim; Wagner had no role in these parts of the science.
(P. B. Price; E. K. Shirk; W. Z. Osborne; L. S. Pinsky (1975). "Evidence for Detection of a Moving Magnetic Monopole". Physical Review Letters 35 (8): 487-490. American Physical Society.
Alvarez, L.W. (1975) "Analysis of a reported magnetic monopole."
Price, P. B.; Shirk, E. K.; Osborne, W. Z.; and Pinsky L. S. (1978). "Further measurements and reassessment of the magnetic-monopole candidate Phys. Rev. D 18, 1382-1421.)

1975: met Gail Morton, started following her around, sending her lots of gifts, making lots of phone calls, and other signs of affection - all unwanted by Ms. Morton
fall 1976: Morton won a court injunction (restraining order) against him
fall 1976-fall 1977: convicted of 17 counts of contempt
Sep 1977: sentencing occurred
1976-1977: Wagner dropped out of McGeorge to repeat his first year at Lincoln Law School in Sacramento.
(from a 26 Sep 1977 People Magazine article, name of law school self-reported at classmates.com. Additional reference: "The Ardent Suitor" by Jerrold K. Footlick, Newsweek, 4 Jul 1977, p.59)

1978: self-reported graduation date from three different law schools: McGeorge, Lincoln, and University of Northern California Lorenzo Patiño School of Law.
(self-reported at classmates.com)

Note: He is highly unlikely to have completed a law degree by 1978 if he repeated first year in 1976 or later, as People Magazine reports. What probably happened was that his actual degree came from Lorenzo Patiño sometime after it opened in 1983. Lorenzo Patiño is an unaccredited law school. Also, there is no evidence that he ever passed a bar exam in California or Hawaii.

1978: California Code Of Civil Procedure Section 527.6, titled: "Injunctions to prevent harassment; Possession of firearm by person subject to protective order" enacted as a result of Wagner's actions toward Morton from 1975-1977.
(references: Diamond View Limited v. Herz (1986) 180 Cal. App. 3d 612, 225 Cal. Rptr. 651; 2003 Cal. App. Unpub. LEXIS 6054)

1979: hired as the head radiation safety officer at the San Francisco Veterans Administration Medical Center
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1981: 1977 injunction against approaching or contacting Gail Morton was dissolved by mutual release after a civil suit arising from an "injurious newspaper article." This dissolution was affirmed on 14 Jul 2004 by Judge Maldonado of the Monterey County Appellate Division of the Superior Court of California (see below for more details).
(Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

29 Jul 1982: Had a letter to the editor published in the New England Journal of Medicine about the dangers of radioactive tobacco.

1984: left the radiation safety officer job at the San Francisco Veterans Administration Medical Center
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1984-2003: briefly taught earth science at Oakland's Arroyo Junior High. Presumably was a teacher at all of the other schools self-reported at classmates.com where he clearly wasn't a student. Presumably aced his much-beloved CBEST (a standardized test for grade school teachers) during this time as well. Also, founded the Monterey Bay Perpetual Endowment Foundation for Wellness.

4 Jul 1995: opening of the World Botanical Gardens, a botanical garden in Umauma, Hawaii. Apparently it was incorporated in Nevada.
(some history included here)

12 Jun 1996: apparently there is also a Utah chapter to the World Botanical Gardens, called World Botanical Garden Institute.
(Deseret News Publishing Co.)

1999: Radiation Man is born. The quest to eliminate uraniam-glazed tiles began in a Baja Cantina restaurant in Monterey, CA.
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

Jul 1999: had a letter to the editor published in Scientific American about black holes being created at the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider at Brookhaven National Laboratory. Letter was refuted by Dr. Wilczek of the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton.

May 1999 - May 2000: filed lawsuits in San Francisco and New York versus the U.S. Dept. of Energy, then the Brookhaven Science Association, to shut down the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) at Brookhaven National Laboratory.
(14 Jun 2000 article at msnbc.com)

10 Nov 2001: Was arrested near the San Francisco airport after repeated attempts to contact Gail Morton against her wishes. He was carrying several knives and a list of Morton's coworkers at the time.
(Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

20 Nov 2001: Prosecution began against him for violating the 1977 injunction.

2001: A new 3-year injunction was issued.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

2003: Appealed arguing that the 1977 injunction had been voided. Appeal denied.

2003: Radiation Man is going door to door in California, warning about the dangers of uranium-glazed tiles.
(article at msnbc.com, 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

30 May 2003: appeal denied in Hawaii regarding something about the Wagners' minor unmarried daughter and a hospital
(Hawaii Supreme Court 25653 (PDF))

May 2004: stopped being involved in the day-to-day affairs of running the World Botanical Gardens in Umauma, Hawaii
(from 29 Feb 2008 article in the Honolulu Advertiser)

14 Jul 2004: Judge Maldonado of the Monterey County Appellate Division of the Superior Court of California agrees that the 1977 injunction had been voided in 1981, and that the 2001 lawsuit should've been charged under California stalker statutes, not violation of the 1977 injunction. (Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

Jul-Sep 2004: alleged to have transmitted personal information with intent to steal property from World Botanical Gardens, Inc.
(from 29 Feb 2008 article in the Honolulu Advertiser)

10 Sep 2004: alleged to have stolen $20k worth of property from World Botanical Gardens, Inc.
(from 29 Feb 2008 article in the Honolulu Advertiser)

24 Jan 2005: another new injunction against approaching or contacting Gail Morton is granted (as the 2001 injunction had expired).
(California Public Court Record H028942)

7 Jun 2005: filed appeal to reconsider an appeal of the 24 Jan 2005 injunction.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

Sep 2005: last known evidence of the existence of the Monterey Bay Perpetual Endowment Foundation for Wellness.

Sep 2005: Fraud/Misrepresentation case begins about the World Botanical Gardens in Nevada.
(Fraud/Misrepresentation Case CV05-02079, Washoe County, Nevada)

8 Nov 2005: Wagner files suit against the prosecutors from 2001, claiming wrongful prosecution for not having violated the 1977 injunction. The case is dismissed.
(Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

1 Dec 2005: Motion to reconsider Wagner v. Flippo is denied.
(more Wagner v. Flippo 2005)

3 Jan 2006: The Wagners file a motion to quash a subpoena of their bank account records. Presumably the subpoena is part of the legal battle with World Botanical Gardens, Inc.
(Hawaii No. 27745)

30 Jan 2006: The 3 Jan 2006 motion (attempt to quash a subpoena of their bank account records) is denied.
(Hawaii No. 27745)

7 Feb 2007: After a lengthy battle with World Botanical Gardens Inc. in Nevada, for engaging in fraud, freezing the garden's bank account, closing their website, and otherwise interfering in their business affairs, he's sentenced to 90 days in jail and several thousand dollars in fines.
(Fraud/Misrepresentation Case CV05-02079, Washoe County, Nevada)

May 2007: Forced to sell his share of the property holdings of the World Botanical Gardens in Nevada at public auction. Deemed vexatious litigants in Nevada.
(Fraud/Misrepresentation Case CV05-02079, Washoe County, Nevada)

10 May 2007: Gail Morton succeeds in having Wagner deemed a vexatious litigant in California.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

13 Jul 2007: The 30 Jan 2006 denial is affirmed. The Wagners' bank account records are successfully subpoenaed.
(Hawaii No. 27745)

7 Nov 2007: 24 Jan 2005 injunction against approaching or contacting Gail Morton stands, designation of Wagner as a "vexatious litigant" does not.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

14 Nov 2007: A $351,520 lien is put on World Botanical Gardens, Inc. property in Utah.
(#68419-2008, state of Utah)

17 Jan 2008: first recorded Wikipedia edit made on the name Oldnoah.

29 Feb 2008: indictment by a grand jury on counts of identity theft and attempted theft relating to an alleged attempt to obtain $340,000 from the botanical garden in Hawaii.
(29 Feb 2008 article at the Honolulu Advertiser, 14 Mar 2008 article at Hawaii Tribune-Herald, 28 Mar 2008 article at The Register (UK news website))

21 Mar 2008: files Sancho vs. DOE against the LHC in a federal district court in Hawaii.
(Sancho v. U.S. Department of Energy et al, case 1:2008cv00136)

26 Sep 2008: Sancho vs. DOE ends when Hawaiian Federal Judge Helen Gillmor officially declares that the American judicial system has no jurisdiction over the LHC.

Mar 2009: Ordered (along with two others) to pay $2.6 million to World Botanical Gardens, Inc. for theft, misrepresenting himself as a director after he'd been dismissed, and selling fake shares. The criminal indictments for Attempted Theft In The First Degree and Identity Theft In The First Degree are still pending.
(03 Mar 2009 BigIslandVideoNews.com, 08 Mar 2009 BigIslandVideoNews.com)

Present: directing the World Botanical Institute division of the Open Mind Foundation, where he claims to have a PhD.

Notes:
This timeline is a perpetual work-in-progress, though we've stopped actively digging for the most part (at the moment anyhow - Wagner and his minions have a tendency to keep coming back and motivating us to dig more). I didn't do most of the research that went into it - I just organized what other people found. This has truly been a group effort of the UCF.

It turns out that the white flowers I posted last year also come in a couple shades of pink.

These are blooming by the door next to my office. The bushes that made last year's white flowers are currently demolished - someone trimmed them way, way down, and now they're only a couple feet tall.

A pedometer is a device that counts the number of steps walked, and also estimates distance covered (based on stride length) and calories burned in the process (based on body weight). I acquired one recently to find out how much walking I do in my daily life. It's an Omron HJ-112, and I have no idea how it works, except I keep imagining that it contains artificial semicircular canals. That's probably not it, but it manages to be pretty accurate as long as I either clip it to some part of my clothing that doesn't move much (the top of my pants works well) or keep it in a snug pocket. Too much swinging around in a loose pocket confuses it mightily, as does walking funny.

The recommended walk count is 10,000 steps per day. I get nowhere close to that. On a workday it tends to be somewhere between 2000 and 2500, and on weekends it's much less - but that's partly because I forget to wear it while I'm bumbling around at home. Could I actually manage 10k steps in a single day? Hmm. I'd probably have to leave the computer and go outside. o.O

I went in with no particular expectations. I'd not gone out of my way to read any descriptions of the movie, so I didn't know a whole lot other than that it existed and was going to have an all-new TOS cast.

1. They weren't kidding when they said "reboot." It was not hyperbole. o.O

On the pro side, people who have never seen any Star Trek before will probably enjoy this movie quite a lot - especially the next generation down. It's a good pilot-type story for introducing new characters and setting. The rebooted characters have just enough development on them to get things started, and now that they have license to pretty much ignore everything that happened after Enterprise, they can basically go anywhere they want with it.

On the con side (the retcon side?), I kind of liked what was there before....

2. People who have read a lot of Star Trek TOS Pocketbook novels may be at a disadvantage for enjoying the movie, especially if they read and liked Enterprise: The First Adventure, Final Frontier (the book by Diane Carey, not the movie), and Kobayashi Maru. The story the movie tells bears no relation to what the books say. On the other hand, the books are technically non-canon, so it's not exactly an arguable point. (Except possibly to argue against reading media tie-in novels, ever - but then you'd miss out on a lot of great stories.)

On the other hand, those who haven't read any of the novels may not like the discrepancies and total departures from previous canon either, so maybe I'm not saying anything useful here.

3. Apparently they decided to aim for comedy. Unfortunately, the villain was kind of cardboard as a result, and there were some plot holes big enough to drive a starship through. Also, the impact that should've been there for *mumble mumble* (!) and *mumble mumble mumble* (T.T) was decidedly nerfed.

That's all I should probably say about it at the moment. I might do a more detailed post later, when more people have seen the movie and I can stop worrying about spoilers. My reaction overall: mixed.

On another note, I was the only one who dressed up for the occasion (finally got an excuse to wear my Spock shirt!), and everybody looked at me funny. This town has no clue how to do geek properly. T.T