Cop: "Do you know why I'm stopping you?"
Me (what I actually said): "Umm ... ahh ... urk."
Me (what I should have said, now that I've had several days to think it up): "Yeah, because it's a smalltown speed trap, and I'm a non-local who didn't realize that the speed limit would suddenly drop from 45 to 20 for two blocks in the middle of a highway. And because I didn't do the obvious, logically safe thing of slamming on my brakes in the middle of a highway, I shall now be forced to give you lots of money. It might possibly cause some financial ruin, but hey, you just want my money and I'm a non-local so who cares."
Cop (after handing me the ticket): "Now, try to slow down."
Me (what I actually said, just before I went back to driving exactly the way I was driving before (because the 20 mph zone was over)): "Yeah, sure."
Me (what I wanted to say): "Up yours."