23 December 2007

Aftermath of the Storm

I think the part that kills me most about being a community moderator is when people who have nothing to fear from me suddenly decide I must be some kind of megalomaniac despot, and that they have to cower from me. Especially when this comes right after other people practically had to beg me to do my job. Especially when they've known me for years. Has that really been what they've thought of me all this time?

None of them saw all the sides of it that I did, yet all of them judge me on what I should have done. Some think I was too harsh, some think I was too lenient. I think I'm glad that for most, the community is back to being an enjoyable place to be.


Anne C. said...

Knowing you (which I don't really, but for the purposes of this post, I'm going to pretend I do), you took the wisest and most sensible course of action.

Your post reminds me of one of the things that disturbs me most about life -- that every day we are being judged by the people around us, whether we know them or not. I feel the weight of it any time I'm with people. Do you experience this?

On a lighter note, this also reminds me of some lines from Stephen King's On Writing (a very good book). He's describing his beta readers and how he processes their input. Basically, he says that if they consistently come down on the same side on an issue, then he tries to address it, but if they're split on an issue ("I hate the nosy waitress, she's unrealistic." "I love the nosy waitress, she's hilarious.") then he'll usually leave it be.

MWT said...

On Writing is at the top of my list of books to get, next time I have an Amazon gift certificate. :) That sounds like good advice for whenever I actually get around to having some kind of finished story to show to beta readers.

As for judging - yes. But while everyone around you is judging you, you are also at the same time judging them. It goes both ways and has weight both ways. And how much weight any given person has will depend on how high of an opinion you have of them.

Ironically I was just thinking about that at work today; at the takeout when it's busy enough to keep Mr. Squirrel cooking in the back (instead of getting in the way up front *cough*), I'm the public face of the place. And everyone in the store who are sitting around waiting for their food is watching me. I can tell how well I'm doing based on how fast the tip jar fills up.

Which I guess brings me to another point. What random strangers judge on is not so much who you are, as what you do. They're looking at whatever role you're filling and how well you fill that role. If you're being a cashier at the time, they judge you on how good of a cashier you are. It has nothing to do with what else you do in life or who you are as a person. I think a lot of people forget that distinction nowadays, and tend to take things too personally.

Megadeus said...

If this is about the RPoL chat thingy, you made the right decisions and took the right actions.

Just remember that when idiots judge you, their judgment doesn't count as much as those intelligent people whose opinion you actually value.

Brianna said...

*nods to Mega's comments* Especially when the idiot was misbehaving, and clearly knew (or at least should have known) that

MWT said...

Heh, I'm not talking about the offenders. I'm talking about a pair of Swedes. But thanks for your support.

Megadeus said...

Well, I think my previous post still holds true. Sometimes you realize that some people's opinions aren't as valuable as you previously thought.

I've come across that several times on RPoL.

Rebelcat said...

I'm sorry if you guys see us like that, Megadeus.

Maybe you did the right thing, MWT. I said in chat that I didn't have the whole picture and that you might have done the right thing. I was sick or asleep when it happened. But I can't lie and say that I won't miss him in chat.

And I don't judge you. If people in chat was annoyed and asked for you to make a decision, then you did the right thing as a mod.

And after all, he did leave the chat voluntarily.

Frankly, I'm a bit stunned over this post as I don't see a conflict at all. I can't judge you as I don't know what happened. If I didn't like your way of moderate the chat I would leave and I haven't.

MWT said...

Hmmm. Well, as long as you've stopped thinking of me as a megalomaniac despot. ;)

Rebelcat said...

I never did. I was just upset that day. And as we went on the trip I couldn't tell you that I wasn't angry anymore.

Megadeus said...
This comment has been removed by the author.