17 September 2009


Cop: "Do you know why I'm stopping you?"

Me (what I actually said): "Umm ... ahh ... urk."

Me (what I should have said, now that I've had several days to think it up): "Yeah, because it's a smalltown speed trap, and I'm a non-local who didn't realize that the speed limit would suddenly drop from 45 to 20 for two blocks in the middle of a highway. And because I didn't do the obvious, logically safe thing of slamming on my brakes in the middle of a highway, I shall now be forced to give you lots of money. It might possibly cause some financial ruin, but hey, you just want my money and I'm a non-local so who cares."

Cop (after handing me the ticket): "Now, try to slow down."

Me (what I actually said, just before I went back to driving exactly the way I was driving before (because the 20 mph zone was over)): "Yeah, sure."

Me (what I wanted to say): "Up yours."



Eric said...

Ouch. I'm sorry. Where was this? (Backfence it or send me an e-mail if you don't feel like being totally public.)

Unknown said...

Last speeding ticket I got (in 1992) was a similar sort of thing.

From the day I started driving (in 1980) until about 2 months before I got that ticket the speed on this highway increased from 50 KPH to 80 MPH before the driveway to a particular church. For whatever reason, the city changed the speed limit so that it increased about 100 metres after the church driveway.

I sped up (as I had done for the past 12 years) just before the church and was doing about 90 when I sped by a cop in the church driveway who had set up a speeding trap.

He caught me and it was petty. The annoying bit was that not only did the cop set up a petty little speed trap, he was a jerk about it. At one point he got to complaining about my signature. And there wasn't a damn thing I was going to do about it because he was a cop.


mattw said...

Been there, done that. I feel your pain. Tickets suck.

neurondoc said...

You need ThePinkThing in your car next time. We got pulled over coming home from Great Wolf Lodge last month for going some ungodly speed. When the cop appeared at my window (passenger seat) TPT said "Ooooh, look! A nice policeman!" TheHusband got a warning. O.o