Package of Sachima: The Sequel

At the same time that I received a box of sachima from John the Scientist, a couple friends also received packages: Anne got a box of instant ramen, and Michelle got ...tentacles.

Michelle didn't actually want her tentacles, so she sent them to me (so that I could, in turn, donate them to the nearest poor, unfortunate octopus that had lost its tentacles in a terrible accident). Meanwhile, I drooled over one of the ramen brands that Anne got, which inspired John to send me a whole case of it. Thus: triple loot for me. :)


The tentacles have now been reattached to a deserving octopus by a crack team of vet surgeons. Here he is, all happy to be able to catch his own food again:

(Note: any similarities between this octopus picture and those found by googling "plush octopus" are entirely coincidental.)

The ramen has now been sampled, and indeed it is the brand I remember fondly from 15 years ago. :) And the sachima? I'm down to seven of them (out of an original 24). The taro ones (purple) especially are pretty good, though my favorite are still the plain (yay nostalgia ;) ).

And finally, along with tentacles, Michelle sent me one of her old cameras. Now I can finally show everyone what the screen on the broken one looks like:

It started out as all-white with diagonal cracks. As time has gone on, it's been turning into ovals of white with rainbow stripes. Picture taking is still perfectly possible through the viewfinder, as long as you don't care what the camera chooses to focus on, or the exact composition, or changing the flash function, or any of the other settings, or seeing the results instantly...

Shawn Powers

By now, everyone everywhere has probably heard about Shawn Powers and his family, whose house burned down yesterday. All of their pets died in the fire. Shawn's a friend and fellow UCFer, and much beloved at Linux Journal where he makes many amusing videos.

I can never think of anything to say when things like this happen. But I thought I'd pass along the donation button for people who haven't found it yet.

A Visit :)

On Christmas Eve, I had dinner with NeuronDoc, her husband TheHusband, and their daughter ThePinkThing. They were passing through on their way to Florida. As was required by Jewish Christmas traditions, we went to a Chinese buffet. Here's me and NeuronDoc after the meal in the restaurant foyer:



(photo of me was improved upon with some help from Random Michelle. NeuronDoc has her own photo from the event, showing what I look like without being improved upon in any way. >.>)

The food turned out not to have as much variety of Chinese as I had hoped. Usually they do better than that. Otherwise, though, we had an excellent evening and didn't try to strangle each other at all. :)

Summary of the Crank That We Debunked

So... Walter L. Wagner, most recently known for filing suit in Hawaii to shut down the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) in Switzerland (video summary by The Daily Show), who is currently under indictment for Attempted Theft In The First Degree and Identity Theft In The First Degree from World Botanical Gardens, Inc. in Umauma, Hawaii, has led a fascinating, litigation-rich life. His past decade, especially, seems to have been packed solid with at least half a dozen completely separate legal battles in at least four states - from suing of colliders to accumulating restraining orders to alleged embezzlement and fraud. Here's a timeline of his life as we know it, pieced together from public and (mostly) online sources.

1968: graduated from Salinas High School, Salinas, California
(self-reported at classmates.com)

1970: graduated from Hartnell College (a community college with its main campus in South Salinas), California
(self-reported at classmates.com)

1970: began attending UC-Berkeley
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1970s: was involved in the No Nukes movement, and worked for antinuclear activist Helen Caldicott. Eventually he disagreed with her approach and left the movement.
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1972: graduated from UC-Berkeley with a Biology BA
(self-reported at classmates.com, 2008 legal affidavit for the lawsuit against the LHC, a 29 Jul 1982 letter to the editor of the New England Journal of Medicine)

1973: was hired by Dr. P. Buford Price, physics professor at UC-Berkeley, as a scanner. Job description of a particle physics scanner: "A scanner is carefully instructed in what to look for through an optical microscope as he systematically moves the field of view, like a lawn mower. He records all tracks that fit the professor's or graduate student's criteria. When all events that fit the criteria are analyzed (and this may take a year or longer), the scientists write a paper, usually using mathematical techniques that are beyond the capability of the scanner. At the end of the paper the scanner(s) are thanked."
(date is from the 2008 legal affidavit for the lawsuit against the LHC)

July 1975: left the Price lab to start law school at the McGeorge School of Law in Sacramento
(date self-reported from a comment on John the Scientist's blog; name of school from 26 Sep 1977 People Magazine article, Wagner v. Flippo 2005)

1975-1978: Price et al (1975) published a paper about the possible detection of a magnetic monopole, with Wagner as one of five people listed in the acknowledgements for "assistance." A 25 Aug 1975 Time Magazine article highlights Julie Teague as well as Walter Wagner as the technical assistants that first spotted the particle track. Alvarez (1975) disputed Price et al (1975) a month later with a conference presentation, and Price et al (1978) retracted their claim; Wagner had no role in these parts of the science.
(P. B. Price; E. K. Shirk; W. Z. Osborne; L. S. Pinsky (1975). "Evidence for Detection of a Moving Magnetic Monopole". Physical Review Letters 35 (8): 487-490. American Physical Society.
Alvarez, L.W. (1975) "Analysis of a reported magnetic monopole."
Price, P. B.; Shirk, E. K.; Osborne, W. Z.; and Pinsky L. S. (1978). "Further measurements and reassessment of the magnetic-monopole candidate Phys. Rev. D 18, 1382-1421.)

1975: met Gail Morton, started following her around, sending her lots of gifts, making lots of phone calls, and other signs of affection - all unwanted by Ms. Morton
fall 1976: Morton won a court injunction (restraining order) against him
fall 1976-fall 1977: convicted of 17 counts of contempt
Sep 1977: sentencing occurred
1976-1977: Wagner dropped out of McGeorge to repeat his first year at Lincoln Law School in Sacramento.
(from a 26 Sep 1977 People Magazine article, name of law school self-reported at classmates.com. Additional reference: "The Ardent Suitor" by Jerrold K. Footlick, Newsweek, 4 Jul 1977, p.59)

1978: self-reported graduation date from three different law schools: McGeorge, Lincoln, and University of Northern California Lorenzo Patiño School of Law.
(self-reported at classmates.com)

Note: He is highly unlikely to have completed a law degree by 1978 if he repeated first year in 1976 or later, as People Magazine reports. What probably happened was that his actual degree came from Lorenzo Patiño sometime after it opened in 1983. Lorenzo Patiño is an unaccredited law school. Also, there is no evidence that he ever passed a bar exam in California or Hawaii.

1978: California Code Of Civil Procedure Section 527.6, titled: "Injunctions to prevent harassment; Possession of firearm by person subject to protective order" enacted as a result of Wagner's actions toward Morton from 1975-1977.
(references: Diamond View Limited v. Herz (1986) 180 Cal. App. 3d 612, 225 Cal. Rptr. 651; 2003 Cal. App. Unpub. LEXIS 6054)

1979: hired as the head radiation safety officer at the San Francisco Veterans Administration Medical Center
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1981: 1977 injunction against approaching or contacting Gail Morton was dissolved by mutual release after a civil suit arising from an "injurious newspaper article." This dissolution was affirmed on 14 Jul 2004 by Judge Maldonado of the Monterey County Appellate Division of the Superior Court of California (see below for more details).
(Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

29 Jul 1982: Had a letter to the editor published in the New England Journal of Medicine about the dangers of radioactive tobacco.

1984: left the radiation safety officer job at the San Francisco Veterans Administration Medical Center
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

1984-2003: briefly taught earth science at Oakland's Arroyo Junior High. Presumably was a teacher at all of the other schools self-reported at classmates.com where he clearly wasn't a student. Presumably aced his much-beloved CBEST (a standardized test for grade school teachers) during this time as well. Also, founded the Monterey Bay Perpetual Endowment Foundation for Wellness.

4 Jul 1995: opening of the World Botanical Gardens, a botanical garden in Umauma, Hawaii. Apparently it was incorporated in Nevada.
(some history included here)

12 Jun 1996: apparently there is also a Utah chapter to the World Botanical Gardens, called World Botanical Garden Institute.
(Deseret News Publishing Co.)

1999: Radiation Man is born. The quest to eliminate uraniam-glazed tiles began in a Baja Cantina restaurant in Monterey, CA.
(from a 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

Jul 1999: had a letter to the editor published in Scientific American about black holes being created at the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider at Brookhaven National Laboratory. Letter was refuted by Dr. Wilczek of the Institute for Advanced Study in Princeton.

May 1999 - May 2000: filed lawsuits in San Francisco and New York versus the U.S. Dept. of Energy, then the Brookhaven Science Association, to shut down the Relativistic Heavy Ion Collider (RHIC) at Brookhaven National Laboratory.
(14 Jun 2000 article at msnbc.com)

10 Nov 2001: Was arrested near the San Francisco airport after repeated attempts to contact Gail Morton against her wishes. He was carrying several knives and a list of Morton's coworkers at the time.
(Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

20 Nov 2001: Prosecution began against him for violating the 1977 injunction.

2001: A new 3-year injunction was issued.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

2003: Appealed arguing that the 1977 injunction had been voided. Appeal denied.

2003: Radiation Man is going door to door in California, warning about the dangers of uranium-glazed tiles.
(article at msnbc.com, 2003 interview in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, CA)

30 May 2003: appeal denied in Hawaii regarding something about the Wagners' minor unmarried daughter and a hospital
(Hawaii Supreme Court 25653 (PDF))

May 2004: stopped being involved in the day-to-day affairs of running the World Botanical Gardens in Umauma, Hawaii
(from 29 Feb 2008 article in the Honolulu Advertiser)

14 Jul 2004: Judge Maldonado of the Monterey County Appellate Division of the Superior Court of California agrees that the 1977 injunction had been voided in 1981, and that the 2001 lawsuit should've been charged under California stalker statutes, not violation of the 1977 injunction. (Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

Jul-Sep 2004: alleged to have transmitted personal information with intent to steal property from World Botanical Gardens, Inc.
(from 29 Feb 2008 article in the Honolulu Advertiser)

10 Sep 2004: alleged to have stolen $20k worth of property from World Botanical Gardens, Inc.
(from 29 Feb 2008 article in the Honolulu Advertiser)

24 Jan 2005: another new injunction against approaching or contacting Gail Morton is granted (as the 2001 injunction had expired).
(California Public Court Record H028942)

7 Jun 2005: filed appeal to reconsider an appeal of the 24 Jan 2005 injunction.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

Sep 2005: last known evidence of the existence of the Monterey Bay Perpetual Endowment Foundation for Wellness.

Sep 2005: Fraud/Misrepresentation case begins about the World Botanical Gardens in Nevada.
(Fraud/Misrepresentation Case CV05-02079, Washoe County, Nevada)

8 Nov 2005: Wagner files suit against the prosecutors from 2001, claiming wrongful prosecution for not having violated the 1977 injunction. The case is dismissed.
(Wagner v. Flippo 2005 - No. C 05-02863 JSW)

1 Dec 2005: Motion to reconsider Wagner v. Flippo is denied.
(more Wagner v. Flippo 2005)

3 Jan 2006: The Wagners file a motion to quash a subpoena of their bank account records. Presumably the subpoena is part of the legal battle with World Botanical Gardens, Inc.
(Hawaii No. 27745)

30 Jan 2006: The 3 Jan 2006 motion (attempt to quash a subpoena of their bank account records) is denied.
(Hawaii No. 27745)

7 Feb 2007: After a lengthy battle with World Botanical Gardens Inc. in Nevada, for engaging in fraud, freezing the garden's bank account, closing their website, and otherwise interfering in their business affairs, he's sentenced to 90 days in jail and several thousand dollars in fines.
(Fraud/Misrepresentation Case CV05-02079, Washoe County, Nevada)

May 2007: Forced to sell his share of the property holdings of the World Botanical Gardens in Nevada at public auction. Deemed vexatious litigants in Nevada.
(Fraud/Misrepresentation Case CV05-02079, Washoe County, Nevada)

10 May 2007: Gail Morton succeeds in having Wagner deemed a vexatious litigant in California.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

13 Jul 2007: The 30 Jan 2006 denial is affirmed. The Wagners' bank account records are successfully subpoenaed.
(Hawaii No. 27745)

7 Nov 2007: 24 Jan 2005 injunction against approaching or contacting Gail Morton stands, designation of Wagner as a "vexatious litigant" does not.
(California Public Court Record H028942)

14 Nov 2007: A $351,520 lien is put on World Botanical Gardens, Inc. property in Utah.
(#68419-2008, state of Utah)

17 Jan 2008: first recorded Wikipedia edit made on the name Oldnoah.

29 Feb 2008: indictment by a grand jury on counts of identity theft and attempted theft relating to an alleged attempt to obtain $340,000 from the botanical garden in Hawaii.
(29 Feb 2008 article at the Honolulu Advertiser, 14 Mar 2008 article at Hawaii Tribune-Herald, 28 Mar 2008 article at The Register (UK news website))

21 Mar 2008: files Sancho vs. DOE against the LHC in a federal district court in Hawaii.
(Sancho v. U.S. Department of Energy et al, case 1:2008cv00136)

26 Sep 2008: Sancho vs. DOE ends when Hawaiian Federal Judge Helen Gillmor officially declares that the American judicial system has no jurisdiction over the LHC.

Mar 2009: Ordered (along with two others) to pay $2.6 million to World Botanical Gardens, Inc. for theft, misrepresenting himself as a director after he'd been dismissed, and selling fake shares. The criminal indictments for Attempted Theft In The First Degree and Identity Theft In The First Degree are still pending.
(03 Mar 2009 BigIslandVideoNews.com, 08 Mar 2009 BigIslandVideoNews.com)

Present: directing the World Botanical Institute division of the Open Mind Foundation, where he claims to have a PhD.

---

Notes:
This timeline is a perpetual work-in-progress, though we've stopped actively digging for the most part (at the moment anyhow - Wagner and his minions have a tendency to keep coming back and motivating us to dig more). I didn't do most of the research that went into it - I just organized what other people found. This has truly been a group effort of the UCF.

Day of Silence

Yesterday, one of our members suffered a terrible personal tragedy. Out of respect for her loss, the UCF member blogs will be offline today. Our thoughts and prayers are with her. We will return tomorrow.

How I came to join the Uniformed Counter-Intelligence Force

There I was in the Serengeti, negotiating with the local poachers to get me six dozen geriatric giraffes, when a man in an old beatup jeep came roaring down the hill at me in a cloud of dust. The mustache was the first thing I saw, after I stopped coughing.

"Nathan!" I exclaimed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask the same of you," he replied. "I expected to find you in Georgia."

"They were having an incident with the Russians. It didn't seem safe."

He looked at me with disgust. "Not that Georgia."

I snickered, then glanced at the huddle of poachers at the other end of the mudhole. Their discussion sounded like it was heating up. I shrugged and looked back at Nathan. "I'm buying giraffes. What does it look like I'm doing? It'll expand my kangaroo carcassing business."

He looked at me askance. "Your what? Aren't you supposed to be a marine biologist?"

"I dabble in other pursuits here and there," I said vaguely. "You should know that better than most."

"Right," he said skeptically. "So you're canvassing kangaroos?"

"Carcassing," I said. "My client, a bit of an eccentric you might say, wants me to plant them along popular American highways. Says he was tired of seeing nothing but deer, possums, and people's pets there. Wants bigger and better roadkill. Wants to expand his diet." I shrugged. "It's too bad that so far nobody will sell me any elephants."

"You know," he said thoughtfully, stroking his mustache, "that can possibly be arranged."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "You know people who can obtain whole elephants?"

He nodded. "And I can arrange it, of course. But only under one condition."

I waited for him to go on, not saying anything.

"I want you back in the UCF."

I thought it over. Go back to the insanity of chasing cranks all over the Internet, in exchange for geriatric elephants.

"This time there will be pay," he added. "From the government."

I thought it over some more. Geriatric elephants and taxpayer dollars funneled to my less than thought-through moneymaking schemes. It could work.

"And there will be a secret handshake. And a toaster."

That sealed it. "Deal," I said. "When do we start?"

And away we went for Round Two of Debunking Walter L. Wagner (who is currently under indictment for Attempted Theft In The First Degree and Identity Theft In The First Degree regarding a botanical garden in Hawaii). It all started when JTankers came back with his stick to poke at us some more (thanks Anne and Jeri for compiling lists to make all those links easy to find.)

Dun Dun DUN! :)

Summary of the Debunking of a Crank

So. There's this brand new shiny particle accelerator in Geneva, known as the Large Hadron Collider. There are also some concerned citizens who think that it might make black holes that will destroy the Earth. Two of these, Luis Sancho and Walter L. Wagner, filed for a restraining order against it in a court in Hawaii (note: Hawaii is nowhere near Geneva). It got tossed out of that court recently, but rumor has it that they're planning to file an appeal.

On what grounds is Mr. Wagner making these claims about black holes? How does he know? Well, he says he's a nuclear physicist. After a lengthy foray into researching his credentials over at John the Scientist's blog, however, it has become rather clear that he's not. The discussion there is longwinded and goes around in great big circles, so I'm making a clear summary of it here. Specifically, let's go line by line through the affidavit he filed with his restraining order in Hawaii...

AFFIDAVIT OF WALTER L. WAGNER IN SUPPORT OF TRO AND PRELIMINARY INJUNCTION

I, Walter L. Wagner, affirm state and declare, under penalty of perjury of the laws of the State of Hawaii, as follows:

1. I am a nuclear physicist with extensive training in the field. I obtained my undergraduate degree in 1972 at Berkeley, California in the biological sciences with a physics minor, and graduate degree in 1978 in Sacramento, California in law.

a) The second sentence actually contradicts the first. "Physics minor" != "extensive training in the field of nuclear physics."
b) It turns out that his law degree is a JD, not a PhD, and it's from an unaccredited institution, the University of Northern California Lorenzo Patiño School of Law. Not only isn't he a nuclear physicist, he's also not a lawyer. He is not and has never been a member of the California Bar, the Hawaii Bar, and probably not any other state bars either.
c) His only actual degree is a BA in biology. (We think. So far we've not had reason to check whether he has even that...)
d) Despite the fact that he calls himself "Dr." everywhere, he doesn't actually have any right to claim that title.

2. Commencing in 1973 I worked extensively in cosmic radiation research at UC Berkeley, Physics Department, Space-Sciences, and am credited with discovery of a novel particle only previously theorized to exist [by Nobelist P.A.M. Dirac], namely a magnetic monopole. That discovery still remains controversial as to the identify of that novel particle, and numerous searches for magnetic monopoles are still currently underway, or proposed, including at the Large Hadron Collider [LHC].

a) The scientists who published the 1975 paper claiming it to be a magnetic monopole later retracted their claim in a 1978 paper.
b) He was a lowly lab tech that was hired to be a scanner. He was told what to look for by the real scientists, and had no part in the actual scientific conversation surrounding the unexplained particle. This is borne out by examining the authorship and acknowledgements of the papers in question. When he says "credited with", what he means is "mentioned in the acknowledgements for assistance." He also fails to mention that he wasn't the only hired scanner in the lab at the time.
c) Nowadays the discovery is viewed as a historical curiosity, not a controversy.

3. Commencing in 1979 I began employment as a federal nuclear safety officer with the US government, from which I am currently retired, though I remain in frequent contact with my former duty station. My federal duty station was with the US Veterans Administration, and I managed an extensive program of nuclear safety involving usages of ionizing radiations from machines [X-ray, CT, etc.], and from a wide variety of radioactive materials produced by particle accelerators, in nuclear reactors, or extracted from nature [principally uranium and its radio-daughter radium]. This work involved enforcement of the regulations of the US Nuclear Regulatory Commission, the US Department of Energy, and the US Department of Transportation. Essentially, my job was to look for and root-out the safety flaws overlooked by scientific researchers as it pertained to nuclear physics, as a protection not only for the researcher’s own health, but for the visitors and population at large.

a) A nuclear radiation safety officer is a type of lab tech and bureaucrat. They do some simple labwork and lots of paperwork overseeing safety regulations. They don't do nuclear physics or any other kind of science.
b) They don't practice nuclear medicine, either. Not even if the job in question is in a hospital.

4. Following retirement from federal employment I embarked on teaching science and mathematics for many years to grade school and college students. I was noted for having obtained the highest test-score on the basic teacher credentialing examination in California [CBEST] where I initially began teaching. I am presently likewise retired from that field, though I still engage myself in formal programs for science education, including the Journey Through the Universe educational outreach program hosted annually by the Big Island astronomy community, where I live. Such
educational endeavors included periods of time as an instructor at Punahou, Iolani, and several other schools in the Honolulu district.

a) He successfully passed a standardized test for grade school teachers. (This, also, does not make him a nuclear physicist.)
b) Educational outreach likewise does not make one a nuclear physicist. A bachelors degree in biology would qualify him for the stuff he mentions.

5. I have remained active in the field of theoretical nuclear physics, and serve as a science editor for Wikipedia, having numerous articles and revisions in nuclear physics to my credit, and I am very familiar with the editing procedures and processes, and with the nuclear physics editors at Wikipedia. I have been active in the field of theoretical micro-black-holes being created by advanced colliders since publication of my work in Scientific American in July, 1999.

a) Becoming an editor at Wikipedia is approximately as difficult as becoming a member of Myspace. Signup is an automated process of choosing a name and password. Anyone can sign up and edit anything, and if they're sneaky about making themselves look authoritative and intelligent, they can insert all kinds of spurious, wildly inaccurate claims that go unchallenged for a very long time. This is why Wikipedia is not highly regarded as a citable source for in-depth information.
b) His claim for being active in the field of "theoretical micro-black-holes being created by advanced colliders"-ology appears to be based on the educational outreach mentioned in 4.
c) Scientific American is not a peer reviewed scientific journal.
d) His "publication" in it in July 1999 was a letter to the editor.

After two weeks of arguing with Wagner and his faithful minions, the general consensus among the UCF is that the man is mentally defective, possibly clinically insane.

As for the other guy, Luis Sancho, it doesn't take much of a look at all at his website to know where his sanity stands. If he was worldbuilding for some kind of cyberpunk story with sentient AIs in an alternate universe, that would be a great site, but, uhhh. I think that's all anyone really needs to say about that.

Meanwhile, has the Large Hadron Collider destroyed the world yet? Click here to check on the status of that.

Update: courtesy of Nathan, there's also this bit of excellently useful data:

---

One final note. Comments on this post will be heavily moderated because I don't want the arguments to wander over here, too. This article is meant to clarify things, not make everything all muddy. John is the official host of this particular circus, if you want to say something significantly in disagreement, do it over there. I will update this as things continue to progress at Refugees.

Headlines of our Lives

Apparently we're having another UCF Bonding Event this week, so here's my placeholder post in case any of them land here. :)

LOOT

My loot from Janiece has arrived. As with everyone else, I'll refrain from saying what it is until everyone else has theirs. ;)

Also arriving today is what appears to be preloot loot from Michelle.

And a postcard from Rebelcat and Galenthias while they were in Crete.

And a package of dried fruits from my mother.

It's been a loot-rich day. :)

In which I belabor metaphors to their breaking points

Eric asked:

Whence Wikipedia?

I thought about elaborating on that, but every other question I came up with started to show my own prejudices; I'll leave it more open-ended and give you a chance (if you'd like) to riff on the future of Wikipedia.

Whence Wikipedia?

I think about Wikipedia in terms of the Greek Fates (or, more accurately (and this will highlight just how much of a total loser roleplayer I am), the Garou Triat of Wyld, Weaver, and Wyrm). The one who spins new thread, the one who weaves the thread into useful fabric, and the one who clips excess thread. The editor who creates new articles on interesting topics they've found or adds new content to existing ones; the editor who formats them to standards, revises them, organizes them into categories, and finds citations for them; the editor who scrutinizes them for notability and deletes or redirects the unacceptable ones.

In the beginning there was mostly content creation. Then came the other two kinds of editors, and shortly thereafter there were admins and bureaucrats - editors who wove or clipped other editors rather than articles themselves. From anarchy there arose a massive tangled bureaucracy - which, having grown organically rather than along any kind of plan, looks to the average outsider like a Gordian knot.

Hence Wikipedia?

Well, it remains to be seen whether we can have a proper balance between the weavers and the cutters - a stable, long-lasting one. In the cosmology of the Garou, the Weaver went mad with her thread and ensnared the Wyrm, who also went mad with destruction, and because of the struggle between the two, the Wyld is dying out. On Wikipedia, all the arguments about notability, citations needed, issues of format, following of procedures and protocols and so forth are driving away the spinners.

Some of the spinners are simply surprised and confused to find structure where they expected chaos, while others have trouble wrapping their minds around the prevailing paradigm (that is, it's not about editors, it's about articles). Even aside from those, however, many would-be spinners (and some would-be weavers) take one look at the Gordian knot and just turn around and go away.

Can the bureaucracy be woven into a useful tapestry that helps more than it hinders? Or do we need a hero to come along with a sword? I don't know, but I lean toward the former much more than the latter.

How Now Wikipedia?

Editting for Wikipedia is a lot like making sandcastles. At any moment, a big wave might come by and revert your masterful work of art to a pile of sand.

On Ordering of Siblings

Michelle asked:

Also, from out of left field, I have a bet with myself that you're the
oldest kid in your family. As the oldest kid in my family, I see in
things you say, things that I do, particularly a sense of
responsibility for the rest of the family, regardless of whether they
appreciate it or not, and that sense of responsibility stretching out
into your professional life (I'm thinking in particular of your not
complaining about your pay rate. (Another of my good friends is also
an oldest sibling, and we've often complained about how our siblings
can still get away with murder. (laugh) )

Are you in fact the oldest of your siblings?

As it happens, yes. Not that you can tell by looking at us standing next to each other, as our heights are in reverse order. Also I look the youngest.

You might find it interesting to know, however, that within the family, I'm notorious for shirking all duty and responsibility expected of me by my sister and mother, much to their annoyance. If anyone is being dutifully responsible, it'd have to be my sister (middle child). Plus she's, uhh, bossy. Just like you. :)

On Roleplay, Characters and Writing

Eric asked:

4E: worst thing ever or merely pretty awful?

The last edition of Dungeons and Dragons I played was AD&D 2nd ed., and that was back in 1992. I have no idea. :) Those of you who have it (or are looking forward to receiving it) may feel free to argue about it, however.

Michelle asked:

What's your alignment?

True Neutral.

That was what I got the last time I took an Internet test about it. I agree that it's accurate, and I like where I am.

To tie it back in with the first question, I'll add that one of the many things I dislike about D&D is the alignment system. I find that it's too artificial and arbitrary to pigeonhole people into nine categories of morality, and it's quite contrary to my preferred styles of roleplaying.

Jeri asked:

In your history of role-playing, what's your favorite character you've ever played and why? Describe the character.

Oh man... only one??? I think I'll do three. :)

1. Haywood Jablomey, a VtM vampire character in the form of an 8 year old boy (a Malkavian, for those who know VtM). His original name was John Smith, but the guy who took him in after his turning decided that it was a boring name and changed it. Said guy had a bit of a dirty mind... Anyway, Haywood is cheerful, friendly, and really not very bright at all. He's also a kleptomaniac, but don't ever confront him about it because "I don't steal! Mommy says stealing is bad!" Instead, he just "finds" things. Not necessarily shiny things or expensive things either - he'll unintentionally take just about any random thing that's sitting out somewhere not bolted down. One time he stole all the AA batteries out of some guy's TV remotes, then when the party moved on to ransack the guy's office, he dumped the batteries and took all the paper clips, and then when the party moved into a restricted lab area where everyone had to wear Clean Room suits and he was too small, he used the paper clips to make the suit fit him.

Haywood was my favorite character during the early-mid-90s, back when most of my social life consisted of tabletop roleplaying and LARPs. He's easy to play because I don't have to keep track of anything complex going on, and I don't have to think fast or intelligently. (I can think intelligently but only very slowly.) He was a hit with most groups I played him in because he made for great comic relief. In general, Haywood works best when he's actually part of a troupe, and not just running around doing stuff by himself.

2. Thomas Cougar, another VtM vampire character (a Gangrel), who started out as a Florida Seminole. After his turning, he exiled himself from his people and spent about 80 years alone in the swamps, until his great-granddaughter came along looking into her personal history, and dragged him back out. He then became a doctor who while he practiced western medicine, also knew a ton about the uses of plants (especially the ones from the swamps he was in) for medicinal purposes.

I made him for a realtime chat game in 2002. It became a solo game, and we basically went nuts with it for nearly a year. She was my best friend, and it was what we did. That game was the focus whereby she dragged me out of the abyss I was in at the time.

Later on, when we started drifting apart (as all my friendships seem to after a while), and we weren't playing as often, I started looking for something to fill the time while waiting for the game to continue, and that's how I came to RPoL in the spring of 2003. I put Thomas into a game there, and she made a character for the same game, which was called VtM: Eternal Nights. Umm. How to put it. Let's just say that it lasted for nearly a year and that there was a lot of drama. It took a long, long time before I could play Thomas in anything else (and now he's a minor NPC in a game I help run).

Thomas was also the seed behind just about all of my fiction. I made him, my friend really liked him and kept asking questions about his past, so I made an extremely detailed past (more detailed than any backstory I'd ever written for any other character). Then I made a city around him for where he was from before the start of the game. And in that city there had to be other characters of course... who were doing things of their own... and getting in each other's ways.... (For those familiar with my RPoLian history, "Detroit" originally started out as a game set in the city I made for him.)

So, yeah. Thomas was (and is) pretty important to me. ;)

3. Rumen Radomir, also a vampire, but one from the Anitaverse as described by Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake series. He started out as a Hungarian monk in the Dark Ages who became the victim of an experiment on whether the purest of the pure (e.g. a monk) could avoid falling from grace if turned into a vampire - a test of faith. Since the answer is no, he was really mad about that and went on a rampage for a couple centuries revelling in monsterhood. After that he got better. He became friends with a necromancer during the 1400s, and the friend eventually became a human servant. Then a few centuries later (150 years before gamestart in modern times) the servant got killed by a vampire hunter. He got really mad about that and went on another rampage, until finally he calmed down about 50 years ago. He ended up in Sacramento, became the Master of the City's second after six years, and ... that's pretty much it actually because the game is dead now.

The game was set in 1990 in Sacramento, ran from late 2003 to mid-2007 on RPoL, covered all of two story days during that time, and got deleted three weeks ago due to inactivity. :( While it ran, it was by far the best freeform roleplaying play-by-post EV4R. All of my best writing was in that game, and it was the stepping stone between the roleplay writing I'd been doing (and steadily improving), and Nanowrimo 2004.

Rumen is now my top muse. He's very strong-willed and particular about me getting him down right. With as entertaining a past as he had, there are all sorts of stories I can write about him - and I've started to, trying to fill the void while waiting for the game to continue (which now it never will). Much of my past several months have been spent quietly worldbuilding for one of the bigger ones. In some ways he's a seed like Thomas. Same general fuzzy settings, except several centuries earlier in a different part of the world.

For short blurbs about some of my other favorites, there's my response to a meme back in 2006. For more about my trials and tribulations of fiction writing, I do have a blog for that over at Hobgoblin.net. That was my main blog where I wrote down actual bloglike material (stuff about daily life) before starting this one.

Global Warming Worldbuilding

From Jeri (via Eric):

I need some sort of event that will cause immediate global warming in the course of one summer/fall - to the point that it will not freeze come winter in the arctic and it will happen so fast it will surprise the world. What sort of event can you think of, outside of deus ex machina?

Umm. What kind of story is this? You could always blame it on space aliens with superior technology.

Barring that, basically you'd have to find a way to dump a whole lot of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. A whole lot. Enough to overwhelm all the balances that are presently in place.

I used to have a book, Out of Thin Air by Peter Ward, that explained how the Mesozoic got to be as warm as it did. I no longer have it, so going entirely by memory here, but basically it was because all the accumulated plant detritus during the Carboniferous (which was called that for a reason...) suddenly released their stored carbon into the atmosphere. I think he said it was a really big fire.

So... maybe in your case, find a way to burn every single plant in the entire world?

I Got Nothing

Obviously I've not had much luck coming up with things to write about in here, for the better part of three months now, so I'm going to steal Eric's idea.

Anyone have any questions they want to ask me? :)

eHow

A while back I pimped a friend of mine, who writes how-to-draw articles for eHow and earns a small but steady wad of cash every month from their ad-revenue-share program. As a homebound disabled guy, trickle incomes are helpful things to have.

Well, last week he was gathering new members who, if they clicked through on his referral link on their way to sign up, would get him more money. So I did. :) Now I too can earn a few cents here and there if people read my articles.

Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, I don't actually know how to do anything. This has become rather more apparent since I've been following the lives of other UCFers, who can make bowls, jam, jewelry, catnip blankets, humorous videos, cakes shaped like hot dogs, fancy flowers, chicken liver soups, and tall buildings. I mean, I can do things like extract earbones out of the braincases of small fish, or identify any postlarval Lutjanine snapper in the western Atlantic by counting their fin elements and observing pigmentation... but those aren't exactly must-have skills for very many people.

Anyone have any suggestions??

UCF Back Fence | Chain of Inspiration

Well, it's been around for a couple months now, and so far we've had visits from Tom, John, Nathan, Shawn, Jeri, Michelle, and Tania. Most people seem to show up between 9 and 11pm, EDT. Unfortunately, we don't seem to be in there more than three of us at a time. Anyone want to work out a day/time to all show up en masse?

A couple other notes. If I'm in there not talking, all you need to do is type out my name ("Nerwen") and it will make my computer ding, which will make me look at the window within a minute or two. If there are no dings, I tend to rotate past the chat window once every ten minutes or so while doing other things. Please wait around for a bit. :) (If I still don't show up, it probably means my boss ate me.) If the only instance of me says "Nerwen-afk" it means I'm not there.

For people who aren't interested in the UCF Back Fence, here's my favorite song at the moment:

Hand of Sorrow by Within Temptation was inspired by the Farseer trilogy by Robin Hobb. The song lyrics in turn have stirred up inspiration for a story of my own. It'll be interesting to see how my story compares to the trilogy, which I won't be reading until after I'm done.

Non Sequitur II

For the next week or so, I'll be involved in yet another UCF community-building exercise. This one is called "Get Me Rewrite" and it's basically a tandem story with some specific rules. Each participant will be writing up to 500 words of a story and posting them in their blogs (or in our host Nathan's blog, if they don't have one of their own). Each of us will be going twice. I'll be pasting both of my portions in this entry.

It's open for anyone to sign up, with or without a blog, up until Sunday 4pm GMT. People who are coming into it from mine may send their parts to me and I'll put it in here if you'd rather not use your own.

---

Part One
Part Two

"Mom, what are you and Dad going to do when I go off to the Space Force?" Sophie asked.

"Oh, I think we’ll be fine, dear. The one I’m really worried about is Blink. Are you sure you don’t want him to stay here? No one is really sure if they can survive off planet, and you might not see him for months."

Part Three (written 29 Mar 3:30pm)

Meanwhile, 217 floors down in the alley behind the skyscraper where Sophie and her mother sat, Blink nuzzled forlornly through one of the dumpsters. Nobody believed him when he tried to warn his family that Sophie wasn't really Sophie anymore. Not Dad, who kept saying "What? Timmy fell down a mine shaft?" Not Mom, who just stuffed Blink's mouth full of shrimp crackers. Not the guards at the Academy's front gates, who laughed as they threw him into this dumpster in the first place. Only Sophie herself knew, and she didn't like him knowing. By the cold, menacing way she stared at him when no one else was looking, Blink was certain she was plotting to kill him.

Something scampered across his foot as it darted from one end of the dumpster to the other, under piles of crumpled papers that fluttered in its wake. Blink blinked. Was there an exit to this giant metal box after all? Did he still have time to find someone in this huge sprawling metropolis that could stop Sophie before it was too late?

He dug down through the heaps of discarded sandwich wrappings and improperly shredded confidential documents, past the unidentifiable sticky gooey stuff that stuck some of the deeper layers together, and finally found a small hole in the bottom corner. There was a small brown creature stuck in it. Its little legs waved frantically as Blink nuzzled its rump, and from the outside of the dumpster he heard frightened squeaks.

Part Four

---

Part 18

Part 19 (written 5 Apr 10:30pm)

Majel woke with a start. Jerking bolt upright in bed, eyes snapping open, she exclaimed at the top of her lungs, "OH THE UTTER HORROR!"

"What's that?" said the sleepy voice of her husband Pike. He sat up beside her, rubbing his eyes. "What happened?"

"I just had the most horrid dream!" cried Majel. "We were back on Manhome, and I was a literary agent with a cybernetic boytoy for an assistant, and I dreamed that I was reading the most appalling piece of trash you could ever hope to imagine - only it was all about our poor dear Sophie being taken over by aliens! It was horrible!"

Pike put his arm around her comfortingly. "Now now, calm down honey. It was just a dream. Everything is fine. See? We're here in our UCF-issued home on Chenolla. Sophie is safe and sound at the Spaceforce reprogramming hospital."

"What about Blink?" Majel looked frantically around the bedroom. "Did he really fall down a radioactive mine shaft?"

"Of course not," Pike said soothingly. "He's missing, but the Academy guards said they were doing their very best to find him again."

"And Raven? What about her?" Majel's voice was still alarmed but starting to calm down.

"Who's Raven?"

"What do you mean, who's Raven?" Majel's voice rose in pitch, and Pike hurriedly squeezed her shoulders. "The alien! The one that took over Sophie! Oh my good lord, we have to go find her before it's too late!"

"That was part of your dream, honey," Pike said reasonably, keeping a firm hold of her shoulders so she wouldn't bolt from the bed.

"But--"

The prompter chimed, flashing that an urgent message had arrived. Pike let go of her shoulders and they both climbed out of bed.

White gauze curtains fluttered in the midnight breeze that drifted in from the tiny open window. Under the cold, pale light of a full moon, the message glared up at them from the screen in large orange letters.

"IT IS WITH OUR SINCEREST REGRETS THAT WE INFORM YOU OF THE FINAL FATE OF YOUR DAUGHTER SOPHIE. SHE IS GONE. PLEASE ACCEPT OUR MOST HEARTFELT CONDOLENCES."

"No," Majel sobbed. "No, that can't be what happened."

Pike sighed deeply beside her. "We knew it might happen, especially after the complications set in."

"No," said Majel again, her voice edging toward hysterics. "We have to go to her and let her know everything will be all right."

She tugged herself loose from his grasp and moved toward the door. Pike followed hastily after her, saying something about getting dressed first, but she wasn't paying attention to him anymore. As her hand closed around the doorknob, there came a loud, harsh knock. Majel jerked back with a squeak.

"Colonial Forces Enforcement Services," a man called from outside. "Permit us to enter at once!"

"Now what could they want at this time of night?" Pike wondered. "Something more about Sophie?"

He moved around Majel and opened the door. Majel took one look at the armored officer and screamed. "It's MOWAT!"

Pike blinked in confusion. "What?"

The officer raised his hypersonic blaster rifle and aimed it at Majel. "By official decree of the Spaceforce Magistrate of Defense, we hereby must terminate your existence on Chenolla VI immediately."

"EEEEE!!!" shrieked Majel.

Pike blinked in alarm. "What??"

At that moment, the moonlight abruptly went out. All three of them looked up, just in time to see an enormous latticework icosahedron as it descended from the sky right over their house.

"That looks oddly Tragethen," said the armored officer in confusion.

"EEEEEEE!!!!!" said Majel.

Pike blinked in confused alarm. "What???"

Part 20

UCF Back Fence, New and Improved

Well, we now have a place to chat on an IRC server. Click on through via Snave's gracious hosting. Or, if you know how IRC works already, we're on irc.ircstorm.net in channel #UCFBackFence. Come on down. :D

EDIT: Rebelcat is also invited to come. :p (And so is anyone else who happens to feel like dropping by.)

On Giant Armed Squirrels and Giant Chocolate Turds: A Photo Retrospective

Once upon a time, Anne C. made some giant crunchy peanut butter balls:

I questioned the giantness of the crunchy peanut butter ball, and in reply she provided scale:

I opined that were I to eat such a giant crunchy peanut butter ball, I might end up looking like this dead squirrel:

This led to a clamor for pictures. Thusly: although I haven't, in fact, partaken of any giant crunchy peanut butter balls, Megadeus nevertheless presents you with a picture:


(Note: it might be helpful to know that in some circles my alter ego is a bunny.)

*mutter mutter mutter*

I hate memes. Have I mentioned how much I hate memes? Yes, yes I have. And yes I do. This is all ... someone's ... fault. *mutter*

1. Ever been in a relationship lasting over 5 years?

Yes.

2. What was one of your dreams growing up?

To be a writer. That fell by the wayside in my teens when other people's dreams were forced on me, and then I fled those by going into science instead. Now I'm back to wanting to be a writer.

3. What talent do you wish you had?

Fast thinking. I'm very slow, the way Einstein was in school.

4. If I bought you a drink what would it be?

Some kind of soda.

5. Favorite books?

That's kind of a broad question...

As a kid, it was The Girl with the Silver Eyes by Willo Davis Roberts.
As a teen, it was Strangers from the Sky by Margaret Wander Bonanno.
In my late teens it was Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency by Douglas Adams.
Nowadays, my favorite series is Glen Cook's Black Company, and anything Steve Brust has written for Dragaera. My favorite roleplay-related book is Demon: The Fallen. I also like Bill Amend's Foxtrot and have all the treasuries.

Addendum: Also, White Fang by Jack London. I went through a phase of liking stuff set in the Arctic. (Which in turn reminds me of Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George, which leads me to discover that it was actually the first of a trilogy. Ooo...)

6. What was the last book you read?

Dzur by Steve Brust.
Next up is Old Man's War by John Scalzi. (Yes, finally getting around to reading something he wrote.)

7. Astrology: Menace to science education or entertainment?

Entertainment.

Otherwise one could also claim that religion is a menace to science education. It all depends what people do with it.

8. Any tattoos and/or piercings? Explain where.

No.

9. Worst habit?

Not enough exercise.

10. Best attribute?

My ability to resist peer pressure. -.-

Seriously: I don't believe that it's up to me to decide what my best attribute is. This is very much a case of "show, don't tell" in my opinion - I'll try to show you who I am, and you decide whether I'm loyal, empathic, or whatnot.

11. What are your favorite hobbies?

Hmm. Writing seems to be the main one at the moment. Also music, hopefully upcoming.

12. Do you have a negative or optimistic attitude?

I'm an optimist and always have been. In my teens it led me to realize that hope, not love, is the cruelest emotion. Then I became a cynical optimist for a while. But now I'm back to being an optimist.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

I'd watch you for cues on what you wanted to do. If you wanted to be quiet, I'd be quiet. If you wanted to engage in conversation, I'd try to oblige. If you wanted to climb out the roof and brave the wolves, well you might be on your own there.

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

Discovering myself pinned to my body.

15. Best thing to ever happen to you?

The shattering of reality. Which at the time sure felt like the worst thing, but then I rebuilt something stronger and better.

16. Tell me one weird fact about you.

No. :p This whole meme is about me telling stupid weird things, so you're just going to have to be satisfied with the other ones.

17. What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?

Depends how long you stood there knocking. I might actually open the door if you were persistent enough. Otherwise I'd assume you were there to try to sell me something. If I did open the door, I'd probably look at you funny.

18. What was your first impression of me?

Since the first place I saw it was on Jim Wright's blog, I'll go with my first impression of him, which was "This guy is hilarious. I wish he had a blog." (This was a month or two before he started one.)

19. What scares you?

Dying a slow, painful death. Dying, not so much. But I don't want to go painfully.

EDIT: Upon further reflection - I fear dying more than I fear being dead. Also, death by drowning or asphyxiation more than any other kinds. I like breathing.

20. If you could change one thing about how you are, what would it be?

I'd add a ton of physical endurance. Somehow I suspect strength would naturally appear if I had the endurance first.

21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

Depends whether I agreed with it.

22. What color eyes do you have?

Brown.

23. Ever been arrested? If so, what for?

No.

24. Favorite dessert?

Well, in terms of western-style dessert-like items, I'd probably go for ice cream. As desserts in general, I prefer the end-of-meal orange slices that come in Chinese restaurants. And in general in general, I don't eat dessert. At home there's no point, and at restaurants they're overpriced and I'm usually too full.

25. If you won $1000 today, what would you do with it?

Well, considering that one month of living expenses is $1200, it wouldn't be very exciting...

26. Tell me something you want me to know about you.

I hate memes -.-

Also see #16.

27. What’s your favorite place to hang out?

The internet.

28. Do you believe in ghosts? Aliens?

Yes.

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Sleep.

30. Do you swear a lot?

Not generally in public. Within the confines of my own head, on the other hand, the words can really fly...

31. Biggest pet peeve?

People who talk me into doing memes.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Weird.

33. Do you believe in/appreciate romance?

Yes, in the sense that I see other people being romantic and enjoying themselves at it.

I would probably appreciate it if anyone ever knew the right ways to approach me. Unfortunately, I don't follow the standard courtship scripts at all. I don't know how, nor do I want to learn parts that are completely unnatural and foreign to me. It's one of those brain wiring things that came with ... uh, the other brain wiring thing.

34. Most unusual place you’ve had sex?

Well, at least it wasn't under a turtle.

(which is an in-joke about my high school alma mater.)

35. Do you believe in an afterlife?

In the sense that there is more than nothingness beyond death, yes. In the sense of any versions of Heaven and/or Hell as defined by specific groups of people, no.


There. After all that, I hope you feel like you know me better.